strange devotion @ Entropy

Image Credit: Anna Gaskell, Untitled #35 (Hide), 1998, from Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum, New York. Purchased with funds contributed by the Photography Committee in 2000.

This essay on (in)fertility, loneliness, writing and the power of belief was recently published on Entropy Mag.

At the time, I was going through a kind of rapture for Jesus—a dark knot thick with sensations I thought were entirely particular to me. In my twenties I’d learn this is a common compulsion for girls who spend their adolescence in schools abutting convents: we sensually fixate on the only man we’re encouraged to think about and speak to.